Am I needy or are they?

My significant other blocked me ...

I'm not needy. Are you sure?

We all know what it feels like when the dreaded friend or family member who is always needing something lights up our phones with text messages and phone calls so we hit decline. We know it's the best thing to do because we feel a heavy stone sinking in the pit of our stomach. they want something and even it's only our time, in this moment, this afternoon or this day or this night, we don't have the time. or we just don't feel well or feel chatty.

I got blocked. We know that doesn't feel good.

Sometimes it makes us feel guilty for not answering a text or phone call from someone we care about. It can make us feel selfish, make us feel self righteous because we justify to ourselves why we shouldn't answer them and sometimes we ignore them just because. Because we dread what they might have to say.

We dread they might need our help.

We dread they might need a favor and we have too much going on today or at least in that moment. Or that day. Or that night. So yes, we ignore or hit send to voicemail. And we hope in our minds they will understand because they know us and they know we are usually always there. Sure they will understand.

Of course that is not our thought or our understanding when we are reaching out to someone we love. To a friend. To a family member. Nope, we go straight to why are they ignoring me!

Or at least I have. Though it makes me cringe I know I am guilty of thinking that.

Well it goes that way for lovers too.

Our partner's react to us in the same way even when they love us or try to love us when we are needy. Even if the only thing we need from them is their time. We justify that it's all we need, just ten minutes of their time. We don't stop and think that the friend we just sent to voicemail justified reaching out with only needing five or ten minutes of our time. (That's different Luna Sue!  Yes I know what we tell ourselves! Wink.) However if we have been needy and didn't realize it, haven't done self inventory recently or feel we are owed it our partner, even friends and family will ignore us like we ignore people for the same reasons. We also have to remember outside of our partner being busy, stressed, asleep or not feeling well, they may be ignoring us because their mental bandwidth just can't handle us in that moment, that afternoon or that day. And when we are in a needy state, intentionally or not, it's not attractive.

Needing nothing attracts everything.

It's powerful and true.  

So before we react like our feet are on fire or our dog just got picked up by a spaceship and is now gone to another planet forever because it's been five minutes, one hour an entire afternoon, a whole day and our significant other hasn't gotten back to us.. let us breathe.

Let us reflect on the times that we do respond immediately to a text. Take a phone call. It's usually because we don't need anything and are in a headspace of just wanting to enjoy time communicating. Or it's because we know it's someone who is always pretty much super upbeat! Has a sense of humor. Or are just very caring and thoughtful. So we answer the text or take the call. Because we know they don't need anything from us. So we feel safe to risk it. Because their energy is attractive to us whether it's the upbeat energy, the laughs they will provide, or that caring attitude and attention we will get. We answer that text. We take that call. We should ask ourselves from time to time if our energy is attractive. We have to be able to learn to know when are being, feeling or projecting ourselves as needy. That way we can change it and slip back into our confident, sexy, attractive energy!

Needing nothing attracts everything.

I find it's okay if others are needy around me. I have learned to know when to give myself space and if I'm not in a needy mood myself I find I am there for them more times than not. Because I need nothing from them. And that's attractive.

Of course it means they will want to spend time in my company and communicating with me. So it's a win win for me.