Missing The One You Love
It's hard when you are missing someone you love. It might be because they are abroad for professional or personal reasons. It might be because they are sick and can't spend time with you. It might be because they asked you for space or a time out in the relationship. It might be because they are still hung up on their ex and they want to spend time with them and not you. It might be because they left you for someone new. It might be because they are still married to someone else and they can't call or see you with any frequency. It might be because they are feeling sorry for themselves and think they aren't good enough for you. It might be because they are a part of your past and you simply can't stop missing them. Or it might be that they are fighting destiny. It could be for a lot of different reasons but the bottom line is that you miss someone you love, so what do you do?
I believe it's better to start with the things that are best not to do because when we are missing someone it's those things we think of doing which end up causing more harm than good, liken' it to picking at a scab and risking having a scar when the wound heals - a big no, no. (Smile) So to avoid adding salt to the wound let's look at what not to do:
1. Don't send a million texts. Which means don't send any. When you haven't heard from someone for a period of time it's best not interfere with the Divine Process of the Universe. I know it's tempting, you can end up justifying it something like this in your head (we've all been there at one time or another) "if I just reach out with a non committal hello or a joke or a kind word surely he/she will just send me a word or two back and right now that's all I need... I just want to feel a connection with him/her no matter how big or small..."
Why is this a bad idea? Because we can feel worse, lonelier, when no response comes. Or our imagination can run rampant and most likely entirely in the wrong direction so that when we finally do cross paths with the person we miss or they decide in free will (not out of us forcing them) to reach out to us we risk reacting to them with what we thought in our imagination (as if it was true and it's not because we only imagined it) and we end up speaking differently or acting differently to them and that causes them to flip out not knowing what in the world just happened and we end up with major misunderstandings and that's a big mess.
Or since we didn't know what was going on ( and it turns out something negative was taking place in their life), and we were only trying to be nice with a simple, "hello, how are ya?" text, that when they fire back a text to us that is hurtful or harsh, something like, 'what is your problem? I told you I would be in touch when I would be in touch, you know what? Just leave me alone, I needed time and you didn't give it to me, don't text or call me anymore...' or we get the dreaded question 'what do you want?' in reply to our non committal hello, joke, or kind words and then we feel attacked, deflated and hurt and end up wishing we wouldn't have sent a text in the first place! Again, we all have been there at one time or another in our lives, intentionally or not. (Small grin)
So what can we do? This may sound crazy but it's a little lifeline when you need it: Send that friendly, noncommittal hello, that joke or those kind words to someone that you don't really like to text in the first place. I'm not suggesting that it should be someone you know you'll end up arguing with because the point is to make the "missing you blues" go away - not for you to get angry and frustrated. And I'm not saying to do the opposite and text your best friend or someone who you know will empathize with your blue state and wallow in your pity with you because that will only make you feel worse. I'm simply suggesting that you text someone whom you know will probably bore you. I know we don't like to admit to ourselves that we know such people but we all have at least one or two people that when they text us the first thought in our head is, 'boring'. But we don't get all emotional about it and it doesn't technically annoy us so we end up texting back and forth with said person, enjoying some mindless chatter.
Once you feel tired or bored then you write a little note to the Universe expressing that you miss your love and that you would like some small sign to know that you aren't giving them space or holding on for all the wrong reasons. It only needs to be a small note. Then take that note and put it near a place where you can burn a white candle near it. Be safe and not let the note be too close to the candle! Burn your white candle for an hour or so once each day with the note near. Read the note each time you light the candle and blow it out. Do this for a few days and if you keep your energy and spirit, clean, open and light, you will be able to hear or see the sign from the Universe that you seek and this will ease your heart so that you will then be able to have more patience while you are waiting for destiny to catch up to both you and your partner.
2. Don't pull out all the photo's or video's you have of the person you are missing. And this includes most importantly, not hitting up their Facebook page to look at them and see what they've been up to because you think you will find a clue as to why they haven't reached out to you. ('Facebooking' as I call it is a whole other issue and one I will talk about at another time!) Because in my work I have seen people who use social media to escape their woes or to rebuild shattered ego's. If your love is doing this and you misread what they are doing then you will begin to resist destiny. I am not saying that some people don't play games, I am not saying that just because you want to believe the person you love is destined for you that it means they are, I am simply saying social media can put great divides in relationships that are meant to be. And when that happens it is then two people resisting destiny which then creates a much longer time frame before the two hearts, yours and your love, come fully and truly together.
So what can you do to avoid glimpsing, peeking, spying, all-out-drooling-while-crying over their Facebook page? Take photo's of yourself! Am I serious? Yes! It gets your mind off of them because you have to think of poses, what to wear, your hair, location, etc. And it's also a confidence builder for you. You don't have to share or post the photo's any where, just spend some time taking a few that make you feel good and save them, or delete them or post them or share them. Be mysterious, funny, out of character and if you feel compelled to do so post them to your Facebook page (who knows, maybe he/she will spy or peek or drool over your Facebook page and text or call you as a result!) or snap photo's of activities you like to do which gets your mind off of your love and your waiting because if you like to garden you have to go out to your garden and take photo's, if you like to cook then you have to whip something up and photograph it, if you like bowling then you have to hop in the car and head over to the bowling alley for a photo with friends, if you like going to the movies then you have to pop some popcorn, (which may require making a trip to the store) put it in a bowl and take a picture of it and then you have to watch the movie, if you like shopping then that requires going out and asking a stranger to take a photo of you standing in front of your favorite shopping haunt, and if you really enjoy just doing nothing then you have to figure out how you can get that image across in a photograph to post on your Facebook page! At least it takes your mind off of the one you are missing and that realigns your inner spirit.
It's very important to keep your inner spirit balanced when you are missing someone you love. If it gets too out of whack then you risk miss signs the Universe wants you to see or hear to assure you that you are on your destiny's path. Which in turn, again, stretches time lines of your life with your love out further and further.
3. Avoid calling while hiding your phone number and hanging up. Avoid calling with your number showing and hanging up. Avoid calling several times and hanging up or leaving messages - see number one above. You can even write their number on another piece of paper and place it near your love note when you burn your white candle.
4. It goes without saying that getting drunk, throwing yourself on your bed and crying or trying to convince yourself that you don't miss the person you love aren't healthy things in energy to do.
So what else can you do?
It's okay to find a quiet place to relax and meditate on having contact with the person you love and miss and to ask the Universe for a simple sign within the next few days to confirm for you that you are not missing the person you love in vain. If you're truly quiet with yourself, if you focus on peace and purity when you meditate, 99 percent of the time you will either get a sign from the Universe within a few days or a call or text or a surprise visit from the one you love.
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